eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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