Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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