you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
