Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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