..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
