'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
