i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
