She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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