We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
