is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
