i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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