On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
