I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
