Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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