i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
