have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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