I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
bring money and cleavage
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
