she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
