So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
