my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
