Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
