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I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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