I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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