i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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