aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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