Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
