I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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