Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
