yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
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So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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