I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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