mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
