I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize