did you get engaged???
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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