She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
