i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
