Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
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We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
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When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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