Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize