Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
