the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
