I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
