Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
