Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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