hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
