Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
