i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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