We're facebook friends in real life
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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