I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
