She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
