i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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