The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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