He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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