i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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