Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
