My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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