if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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