Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
