OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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