from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
