It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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