I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
