Got a toothbrush?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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