What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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