I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
